You would think that after several years of being a parent, I would know enough to rarely be surprised by the behavior of children. A toddler insisting that pajamas are real clothes and real clothes cause her skin to hurt? Nope. A child wiping all the cheese sauce off the mac n’ cheese he just requested? Not at all. That grape jelly somehow regularly gets into the crease where the ceiling meets the wall? Well. . . that one always does surprise me. . .
But sometimes I have moments where I’m left speechless because my mind is blown by children. I call it child-induced aphasia.
Like the other morning when The Bife made pancakes for the kids. Midway through eating a jelly-covered pancake, The Boy wanted a new, plain one because there was grape jelly on his. When The Bife told him he had to finish the pancake he already had before he got a new one, The Boy had a tantrum. (The mystery of how jelly appears on the walls solved!) Eventually he calmed down, grudgingly finished his pancake, then asked for a new one. Without missing a beat, he asked for help opening the grape jelly. I could hear The Bife’s mind explode from across the house, but she said nothing. Continue reading